Joke of the Day!

Got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.

Dad Jokes

😉 A new type of brook came out and it’s sweeping the nation.

😉 What is an octopus’s favorite love song? I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.

😉 When the glacier was asked for an opinion on weather conditions, it replied, “I don’t know, I’ve never really thawed about it.”

One Liners

😆  Took the kids to the zoo last week…going back this week to see how they settled in.

😄 I don’t know if my pants are feeling loose because I’m loosing weight or if the elastic has finally given up the fight.

Short Joke

😂  A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. The alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump petrol into it. The woman noticed the letters UFO printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked, “Does UFO stand for Unidentified Flying Object?”. The alien answered, “No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only.”

😂 An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know, the same as you I suppose.” she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!” “Well, there you go’ cried the husband, “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night.”

Meme

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A merry heart does good, like medicine. Proverbs 17:22