Joke of the Day!

So I went to a hardware store and I said: "Can I have a bag of nails please?" Assistant: “Yes sir - how long do you need them?" Me: “I want to keep them."

Dad Jokes

😉 My friend just said to me: "How come you always walk in front of me?" I said: "I’m sorry, I don’t follow you."

😉 I opened up a store selling uncaged birds. They just flew off the shelves.

😉 What’s the difference between unlawful & illegal? Unlawful means against the law, while the other is a sick bird.

One Liners

😄 My co-worker says she buys a new pair of shoes whenever she's down in the dumps…I said I always wondered where you got them.

😆 I saw a book at the store today called "How to end 50% of your problems" I bought two copies.

Short Joke

😂 Paddy was digging a hole in his front lawn, when his neighbor walks by and says, "Hey, Paddy, what ya doin?" "Diggin a hole," said Paddy. "What's wrong with the hole next to it?" said his neighbor. "That one wasn't deep enough," said Paddy.

😂 A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly. "This thing lives in trees (pause)…and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is grey (pause)…and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands went up. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause)…and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."Finally one little boy sheepishly raised his hand. The pastor breathed a sigh of relief and called on him. "Well," said the boy, "I KNOW the answer is supposed to be Jesus ...but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me.

Meme

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A merry heart does good, like medicine. Proverbs 17:22