Joke of the Day!

Why did the old man fall in the well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

Dad Jokes

😉 What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

😉 I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean.

One Liners

😆 My Girlfriend is strange. She starts every sentence with "Are you even listening"?

😆 Like most people my age, I'm 22. Small world, huh?

Short Jokes

🤣 2 cows are grazing in a field. 1 cow says to the other, "you ever worry about that mad cow disease?". The other cow says, "why would i care? I'm a helicopter!".

🤣 A husband and wife head out for dinner. The husband orders steak tartare. The waiter asks "but sir what about the mad cow?" "Ah, she'll just have the salad"

😉 Why don’t blind people go skydiving? It terrifies their dogs.

Long Joke

Jim Mooney has been retired for a few years when suddenly he received a summons one day from the IRS. He’s been selected randomly for a tax audit, so he decides it might be wise if he takes his attorney with him. Unsurprised by the attorney’s presence, the IRS auditor explains the procedure and then says to Jim, “Mr. Mooney, we have been reviewing your affairs and it appears that you have an extravagant lifestyle and yet you’re not in full-time employment, nor do you have any other obvious sources of income. You’ve explained this by saying that you win money gambling. Well, sir, I have to tell you, the IRS doesn’t believe that’s a credible explanation.” “Well I am a skilled gambler,” says Jim, “and I can prove it to you if you’re willing to participate in a wager with me.” The IRS auditor considers this proposition momentarily and then says, “Yes, I’m willing to give that a try, so go ahead.” “Right,” says Jim, “I’ll bet you one thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.” The IRS auditor considers this carefully and decides that it’s impossible. “OK then Mr. Mooney,” he says, “You have a bet.” At this point, and to the IRS auditor’s great surprise, Jim removes his glass eye and then bites it. The auditor sits there in stunned silence, Jim then says, “I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye. Mr Mooney isn’t blind, so he can’t have another glass eye thinks the auditor. That’s got to be impossible, surely? So, the auditor accepts the bet. So, Jim removes his dentures and then bites his good eye.

Meme

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A merry heart does good, like medicine. Proverbs 17:22