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Joke of the Day!

What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.

Puns

😉 What is the difference between swine flu and bird flu? bird flu requires tweetment, and swine flu requires oinkment!

😉 How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

😉 I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

😉 Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

😉  I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

Short Jokes

😂  It's so cold outside, I actually saw a gangster pull his pants up.

😂 A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?" God said yes. The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?" God said yes. The guy said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said, "Sure, just a second."

😂 A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

Social Posts

Memes

She said “No”.

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The Morning Financial Newsletter That's Ruffling Feathers.

A merry heart does good, like medicine. Proverbs 17:22