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Joke of the Day!

Not going to lie, my bed is broken.

Kids/Dad Jokes

😉 Not surprised by the high divorce rate among tennis players. Love means nothing to them.

😉 A friend told me that he was bathing in milk, almost totally immersed. I said, “Pasteurized?” - he said, “no, just to my chin”.

😉 A friend asked me if I had seen the the film called "Tractor". "No", I replied, "but I've seen the trailer".

😉 When I wear contact lenses, I keep seeing Russian aircraft flying around in front of my eyes. The doctor said it could be some kind of optical Ilyushins.

Short Jokes

😂 "When I told everyone I was gonna become a professional stand up comedian, they all laughed… Well, they’re not laughing now!"

😂 "A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, "They're right behind you!"

😂 A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit. He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers. He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait. Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

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