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Joke of the Day!

I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, “Thanks.” I said, “Don’t mention it.”

Kids/Dad Jokes

😉 My friend has lost a lot of weight just by wearing bread on his head. It’s a new loaf hat diet he’s trying.

😉 I was in the store this morning shopping for snacks, mixed nuts…I was like, cashew believe these prices? These cost an almond and a leg! I walnut buy them at these prices.

😉 Pediatricians get mad easily because they have little patients.

Short Jokes

😂 Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stays up all night wondering if dog exists.

😂 You donate a kidney, and you’re a hero. You donate five kidneys, and suddenly the police are involved.

😂 Picked up a hitch-hiker. Seemed like a nice guy. After a few miles, he asked me if I was afraid that he might be a serial killer. I told him that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

Long Joke

🤣 Two brothers are terrible trouble makers. They are always breaking things, stealing things, lying, and making all kinds of general trouble. The parents have tried everything to get the boys to change, to no avail. Out of options, they ask their pastor if he can help. He says he will talk to the boys, but only one at a time. The parents drop off the youngest and go home, promising to return to get him soon. The boy sits in a chair across from the pastor's desk and they just look at each other. Finally, the Pastor says, "Where is God?" The boy just sits there and doesn't answer. The pastor begins to look stern and loudly says, "Where is God?" The little boy shifts in his seat, but still doesn't answer. The pastor is starting to get angry at the boy's refusal to converse and practically shouts "Where is God?" To the pastor's surprise, the little boy jumps up out of his chair and runs out of the office. The boy leaves the church and runs all the way home, up the stairs and into his brother's room. He shuts the door, and with sweat running down his face says, "We're in BIG TROUBLE! God's missing and they think we did it!"

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A merry heart does good, like medicine. Proverbs 17:22